The look
by pieces of a shattered dream
Summary: post 'Countdown'... starts when they stop the car in wich is the bomb. but goes from there with a little of my own imagination :


I finally got to write down this one. I actually wanted to post this right after I saw the episode but somehow I coudn't bring myself to sit down and start please tell me what you think :) and enjoy

The look

Their eyes locked onto each other's they brace themselves for the death they are sure they couldn't escape this time. And with her hand holding onto his' he knows that, if it is inevitable for them both to die, than there is no other way he wanted to go. He's going to spend the very last moments of his life with the woman he came to love so much, and even though that seems ridiculous, he does not fear death so much now.

She tries to tell him everything that is going on in her mind at this moment, by simply holding his gaze. She lets all the emotions she's tried to lock down for so long come to the surface, lets them show in her eyes. If she could find herself able to speak, she would just tell him how much he means to her – how much she loves him. But she couldn't. So she lets her eyes and the hand he was so firmly holding doing the work.

And if she reads his expression correctly she realizes that there were no words needed to say. He understands and – more importantly – reflects.

The love he sees in her eyes is giving him the strength to hold on to a little spark of hope. Because now that she finally lays her feelings for him open, he can't just loose her – because now they could have a chance.

Never taking his eyes off of hers' he makes one last attempt of hopefully saving both their lives – along with thousands of others – and yanks the wires off in one quick motion.

The first thing going through his mind is that he must have failed; that he must have died. This is his only explanation for the arms that are thrown around his shoulders and the relieved sigh coming from the woman in his arms. But then he starts to understand that this isn't heaven – although it pretty much felt like it – but that he just saved them from dying the third time in the last few days.

He once again doubts being actually alive when their lips crash together in a passionate kiss. This time there is no pretending not to feel anything. This time they know exactly that this kiss means something – for both of them. This time there is no holding back as she melts into his embrace, kissing him as long as oxygen isn't necessarily required.

_falling in love with a vampirefalling in love with vampire_

They don't talk about it afterwards. As much as they both need to – want to – they know that this isn't the right time to confess their undying love for each other. Not when standing in front of a just defused bomb. Not when hearing the sirens of the arriving police cars. Not when she technically has a boyfriend.

So they don't talk about it, but let their eyes once again say anything their minds wouldn't put into words.

_falling in love with a vampirefalling in love with a vampire_

He plans on asking her to dinner. Nothing meaningful he tells himself – just to celebrate them still being alive. Of course he knows that he's lying to himself and she would see through it immediately. But he tries to anyway.

Until he sees her boyfriend walking up behind her; and he recognizes the relief, the concern, the _love _in his eyes. It is easy for him to because he remembers feeling the same emotions for her just an hour ago.

He tells her something about going home and get some rest. Something about it being a long day and he catches the confusion in her eyes. Of course she knows that he wanted to say something else but he couldn't bring himself to anymore. She hasn't realized her boyfriend coming over to them – she doesn't even know he's here – and when he tells her goodbye she just gets more confused. And then she feels someone behind her, sneaking his arms around her. Suddenly the confusion lightens and she is pretty sure he was going to say something way different – something about _them_ – maybe even addressing that mind-blowing kiss they shared.

She sees the sadness in his eyes when he steps into the elevator because even in the arms of her boyfriend she can't do anything else than to look after him. She knows that it's wrong what she's doing and that she should be happy to have her boyfriend help her through the events of the last days; to be there for her. And that's when she makes a decision she thought she'll never do again.

"Look, Josh, those last weeks have been very hard for me" she lifts her head from his chest and can't help but think back to the last time they opened her mother's case. Her mind becomes dizzy when she thinks back to the kiss that wasn't supposed to mean anything but before she could loose herself in this memory she hears him speak.

"I know and I hope this isn't the only reason you're breaking up with me" She is relieved when she realizes he expects this. "I love you Kate, and it is hard but I could accept the fact that you are in love with someone else. But you don't know how much it hurts when I know you're breaking up with me because I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. Because if there was any possibility of going back there I wouldn't let it happen again." He sounds sad but he isn't angry. To someone else this would have sound selfish but she understands him and she does know that he' telling the truth. He told her that more than once since he's back from Africa.

"I'm so sorry, Josh" And there is a single tear that escapes her eyes because even if she never really loved Josh, she does care for him and she knows that if she would give them a chance she may be falling for him.

"Just promise me to be happy" He kisses her lightly on the forehead and then he leaves.

_falling in love with a vampirefalling in love with a vampire_

He is still at the precinct when he hangs up his phone after talking to his daughter. He wanted to hail a cab when Alexis called and so he picked up, thinking he still can take a ride home in ten minutes. When he puts his cell phone away he hears the familiar ring tone that indicates he has a new message from her. Still debating if he wants to know what the message is about he finds his subconscious betraying him.

**Where r u?**

He isn't sure whether to respond or not but his fingers start typing like they have a mind of their own.

**Still at the precinct. Y?**

He hits send hoping she wouldn't respond. On the other hand he couldn't wait for her to.

**Need 2 talk 2 u. Meet me at my car?**

**Please**

He smiles at the last message. It was just one word but it makes him want to talk to her even more.

**Alright**

_falling in love with a vampirefalling in love with a vampire_

He already waits at the car when she steps out of the building. Without a word, just a quick look in his eyes, she unlocks her car and they get in. She wants to ask him why he's still here, he left more than ten minutes ago, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. Even thought she's the one that asked him to talk she doesn't know how to start any conversation. Eventually he breaks the silence.

"I just got off the phone with Alexis. They're coming back to the city tomorrow."

"That's great. How is she doing?" She sends him a little smile, trying to push away the edgy tension.

"She's relieved and happy we're alive. And a bit angry at me for staying." He returns her smile.

"I'm glad she's okay." Unconsciously she reaches for his hand but when she notices what she's doing she does not pull away. Neither does he.

"We can talk at my place" She agrees with a nod and then starts the car in the direction of his loft.

She doesn't claim her hand back the entire ride and just reluctantly pulls away when they get out of the car. The way to his door is silent, but this time it isn't uncomfortable. He unlocks the door and lets her inside first. She makes her way over to the couch and slides her shoes off before tugging her feet under her. She hasn't thought about staying the night before, but if their talk would go exactly like she planed it, she wants to. No matter how things will work out between them she doesn't want to be alone tonight and she is sure he doesn't either.

"I broke up with Josh" she says when he takes a seat beside her.

"When?" It is all he could come up with right now. She had surprised him too much with her statement.

"About ten minutes ago"

"Why?" It was another word he wants to delete from his vocabulary.

"For you" she replies, staring on her legs. "I know this sounds crazy but the moment I was sure we're going to die, I knew I would die with regrets. There was something in your eyes-"She doesn't get the chance to finish her sentence because he claims her lips with his own. The kiss isn't passionate or longing like the first two they shared. It is slow and loving. And just like when they were standing in front of that bomb they let this kiss say everything they haven't said with words yet.

"I love you" he simply says after he pulls back to rest his forehead against hers.

"I love you, too" She whispers, not really trusting her voice at the moment.

She ends up staying the night curled up in bed next to the man she's in love with for so long and all she could think about at this moment is, why it took them so long – and numerous of near death experiences – to get where they are now.


End file.
